Stepping off the Curb Into a Big Ass Puddle

You know after a while you begin to tell yourself that this time is the last time. That you aren't going to allow yourself to be sucked into that routine again.

Eventually you can't differentiate between this problem and a drug addiction.

Questions start coming to mind, because you aren't sure if this is because of you or because of something else. So mainly you blame yourself.

This also begins to sound like an abusive relationship.

The problem stems from the fact that it never gets to that point. Ever.

You get to a point where you begin to think that maybe its never going to happen. And you wonder if you'll ever just be able to accept that.

Getting Stuck On The Slide

Michael Jackson died, and its a little weird to see news reels of random people in the street openly weeping like they just found out they had some rare form of cancer and they only had two days to live.
I realize how important he was to the music industry, but seriously the guy was a little beyond creepy. And he'd been holed up in his Vegas house for like two years now.
I'm actually more upset about Ed McMahan dying. I mean come on! Its the guy who announced everything, and he gave away tons of free money.

I also think its amazing that Twitter and Facebook were shut down when people found out Jackson died, and yet if you were to ask any of those people whats going on in Iran? Ten bucks says they would confuse it with Iraq. You know, I'm not going to jump on my soapbox or anything. But come on! A country that we've been having serious disagreements with, and quite possibly has nuclear weapons just held an election that is more than likely not legal. But everyone freaks out when Michael Jackson dies.

Makes perfect sense.

Just killing some time.

I don't keep diaries, I don't write down what I've done a particular day or gush about some boy I happen to like at the time.

I'm cynical and regarded as bitchy by some people.
I have tried to change how, well, mean I can be. But God I can't stand stupid questions.
I have a tendency to become flustered easily, and I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up.
I'm not very good at expressing my emotions, nor am I very good at showing them.

But I'm funny, I love the people I love.
And when I do care about someone, I care about them completely.
I'm quiet, which I think is a plus in my column.
I have no desire of living in the same town I grew up in.
I'm smart, and I know it.
I think there is life outside our universe, but then its just pretentious not to....
I like coloring books. Especially when I'm sick.

Searching for the light switch that just isn't there.

I have a tendency to over explain myself, when there isn't a need for it.
Fix something that isn't broken, or just go ahead and break it.

I'm repeating myself alot these days
Verbally and by doing things that make me want to lock myself in a closet.
I'm throwing rocks at a window but the light is not coming on.

How do you know when something makes sense?

The names they give to racing horses are just ridiculous.

When do you loose the relationship you once had with your parents that you had when you were a kid? The one where you ran at full, arm flailing speed into their arms because you couldn't wait to tell them about the things you learned in school. Or you just need to feel safe and the only thing that did that was the smell of your dads shirt or the smell of your moms perfume. How do we loose that? How do we go from feeling like they're our hero's to not being really sure how we came from them and not being sure if we can talk to them.

A Walk Through My Mind.

I have now been told by several different people that I'm apparently very hard to get to know.
I realize why this is, I don't talk about myself nor do I ask personal questions.

Now there's not a whole lot I can do when it comes to asking other people questions about themselves, unless I, you know....ask them questions, which knowing me isn't likely to happen. But what I can do is offer up a little information about myself.

My favorite flavor of ice cream is coffee.
My favorite candy bar is the Watchamacallit even though they only sell them at gas stations...they are de-li-cious.
I don't like orange or apple juice.
I know more about car maintanance than the average girl.....or guy for that matter.
I own more Christmas socks than any one person should.
My favorite season is winter, although I do love spring which is apparently at odds with my personality.
I am a hopeless romantic, but I'm extremely cynical.
I know I can sing, but I hesitate to do so in front of others.
I hate shopping, meaning I don't spend hours wandering through stores hoping to find one or two things that I "might" like.
I love classical music, but I almost never listen to it.
My taste in music is better than yours, but you've probably never heard of my bands.
I don't like to talk during a movie I've never seen, but if it is a movie I've seen I'll sing along with the soundtrack.
I love classic cars, but don't ask me to name them.
I sleep better when I'm cold.
Once, when I was two or three I had to have my stomach pumped because I swallowed 13 cents.
My favorite animal is the Polar Bear.
I don't have a favorite color, but if you asked me I'd say orange.

Ok, goodnight.

The Truth about Being Oblivious

I'm beginning to think that I'm one of the most oblivious people in the universe.

How do you notice something that you've basically taught yourself to.....well not notice.

I'm good at pretending like guys aren't there.

But when I do that I get yelled at by the people around me, because apparently not noticing is the wrong thing to do.

But if you don't know me, flirting is not something I'm particularly good at.

Men are insanely confusing to me.

What is so hard about just telling me your attracted to me?