I will admit, if we're being honest; and I think we might as well, that I haven't been writing on here because I'm been putting down all of my thoughts in writing. Not for any particular reason, I suppose because its easier and for some reason my thoughts seem more congruent on paper.
I've been in a bit of a funk. Why, my avid reader, you might ask? Because I'm annoyed by everything and everybody. During a conversation with someone, and it doesn't matter who, I find myself lost in my own thoughts. Partly because I've been consumed in my own world but also because I simply don't want to be engaged in a conversation with anyone. And then once I realize that the other person realizes I'm not paying attention I'm annoyed at them for being annoyed. Its a strange dichotomy.
This is me at my most anti-social. I thought maybe I was unhappy for some unexplicable reason, but after some heaving thinking I came to the realization that it is just the opposite. I'm strangely happy for the first time in a very long time. There's nothing dramatic going on, I go to work and I go to school and I'm completely serious when I say there really isn't anything else going on. And for the first time in over a year there is no male trouble, I am completely and totally fine with the fact that I have no romantic interests right now. I prefer it that way, its taken me too long to get to this point to mess it all up again.
So why then am I suddenly a virtual introvert? I really have no answers, nor do I really have any theories. I've never been stellar when it comes to keeping conversations flowing, but this is a bit ridiculous. And the idea of having to be perky leaves me a little sick. I'm hoping it will pass, because I know most people don't understand it. I'm not sure I do for that matter.
