The Waterfountains Don't Work

*Disclaimer* This is still fiction, at no time has any of this become true.

Well here we are again. I gave you like two months to find something better to do with your life and yet, your still reading this ill-advised refuse. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe you're one of those people that lives with their mother and plays D and D with your old college roommate because neither one of you can get laid.
If that's the case, then I'm sorry that this will be the closest you'll ever get to knowing a woman.
If that's not the case, you deserve what you get.

I always knew my life wasn't going to be one of those where I suddenly realized all the terrible mistakes I'd been making and I made amends for all my missteps. There was never going to be a scene where the music swelled the camera pushed in on my face and you could see it on my face that I knew I was goin' places. Crap like that just doesn't happen, I don't care what you want to believe. And if you think it does you need to get over yourself real quick. At no point does anyone ever wake up and say "Hey, I'm a grown up now, I feel really responsible!" Everyone is scared all the time. Those love scenes you see in the movies? No one has ever experienced one of those, and no one ever will. No one is as interesting as they think.

But I had a good job, a nice apartment and a best friend. So I was reasonably happy with the way things were going. Did I want more? Of course I did! I was human. This is where Randy came in. Yes his name was Randy. I should have known it was stupid just from the fact that he has a ridiculous name. Never mind that he was Charlottes husband.

Stepping off the Curb Into a Big Ass Puddle

You know after a while you begin to tell yourself that this time is the last time. That you aren't going to allow yourself to be sucked into that routine again.

Eventually you can't differentiate between this problem and a drug addiction.

Questions start coming to mind, because you aren't sure if this is because of you or because of something else. So mainly you blame yourself.

This also begins to sound like an abusive relationship.

The problem stems from the fact that it never gets to that point. Ever.

You get to a point where you begin to think that maybe its never going to happen. And you wonder if you'll ever just be able to accept that.

Getting Stuck On The Slide

Michael Jackson died, and its a little weird to see news reels of random people in the street openly weeping like they just found out they had some rare form of cancer and they only had two days to live.
I realize how important he was to the music industry, but seriously the guy was a little beyond creepy. And he'd been holed up in his Vegas house for like two years now.
I'm actually more upset about Ed McMahan dying. I mean come on! Its the guy who announced everything, and he gave away tons of free money.

I also think its amazing that Twitter and Facebook were shut down when people found out Jackson died, and yet if you were to ask any of those people whats going on in Iran? Ten bucks says they would confuse it with Iraq. You know, I'm not going to jump on my soapbox or anything. But come on! A country that we've been having serious disagreements with, and quite possibly has nuclear weapons just held an election that is more than likely not legal. But everyone freaks out when Michael Jackson dies.

Makes perfect sense.

Just killing some time.

I don't keep diaries, I don't write down what I've done a particular day or gush about some boy I happen to like at the time.

I'm cynical and regarded as bitchy by some people.
I have tried to change how, well, mean I can be. But God I can't stand stupid questions.
I have a tendency to become flustered easily, and I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up.
I'm not very good at expressing my emotions, nor am I very good at showing them.

But I'm funny, I love the people I love.
And when I do care about someone, I care about them completely.
I'm quiet, which I think is a plus in my column.
I have no desire of living in the same town I grew up in.
I'm smart, and I know it.
I think there is life outside our universe, but then its just pretentious not to....
I like coloring books. Especially when I'm sick.

Searching for the light switch that just isn't there.

I have a tendency to over explain myself, when there isn't a need for it.
Fix something that isn't broken, or just go ahead and break it.

I'm repeating myself alot these days
Verbally and by doing things that make me want to lock myself in a closet.
I'm throwing rocks at a window but the light is not coming on.

How do you know when something makes sense?

The names they give to racing horses are just ridiculous.

When do you loose the relationship you once had with your parents that you had when you were a kid? The one where you ran at full, arm flailing speed into their arms because you couldn't wait to tell them about the things you learned in school. Or you just need to feel safe and the only thing that did that was the smell of your dads shirt or the smell of your moms perfume. How do we loose that? How do we go from feeling like they're our hero's to not being really sure how we came from them and not being sure if we can talk to them.