Lonely Times at the OK Corral.

This is my last week in my apartment. It's my last week in Little Rock.

And I can't honestly say I'm sad about it. I love my neighborhood and aside from some minor problems I really do like my apartment. But other than that I don't feel like I'm leaving anything that important.

This is mostly due to the fact that the past month has been hectic. And that is putting it lightly.

It's hard to make people understand that I'm not being distant on purpose, I don't intentionally try to keep people at arms length. I've had a lot of....well crap......to deal with. And for some odd reason no one seems to get that.

I am not a person prone to drama, I much prefer to sit back and watch everyone else scramble. But I hate being the person that others depend on for support and then when it comes time that I need a little bit of understanding everyone runs in the other direction. It hurts more than anything to be told in no uncertain terms that my friendship is just not needed anymore.

I'm sorry. I'm venting and I really shouldn't be. But why shouldn't I go home to my family and two of my absolute best friends that I know will be there no matter what happens? Maybe it's something to do with the time of year, but it sucks when you find out that something you thought was so important and held so dear turns out to be a figment of your imagination.

Whoville and the Polar Express

December.

Probably my favorite month all year long, even more so than my birthday month. I love everything about Christmas......except for the whole working in retail thing. I love the cold weather, I love the Christmas lights, the decorations on houses, I love stockings and Christmas cookies, and searching for better Christmas songs. It's a time of year that I always look forward too and always feel sad when it hits December 26.

It makes me sad when I meet people who hate the holidays. I can understand hating how people turn into lunatics and fight over a nose hairtrimmer just because it's 15$ cheaper. But to me, and maybe this is the cheesiest thing I've ever said, Christmas is about being with your family; whether they're biological or people you've acquired over the years. Who cares about presents? Just give me the whole day to sit around in my jammies eating cinnamon buns and drinking hot cocoa.

Now that I've made everybody throw up just a little I'll move on.

The last two weeks have been absolutely insane. I've gone from doing the same thing day in and day out to leaving my job and moving home. I'm sure my sister is just ecstatic........the sarcasm should be oozing down your computer screen right about now. But I'm really not that upset about it. It could actually be kind of nice to be back home for a while. For some reason I'm never completely comfortable like I am there. I suppose it has something to do with me continuously thinking of it as "home".

I've decided not to go back to school for now. I know, I know it's a tragedy. But I have got to get my shit together, I need to figure out who I am and where I want to go, and I'm not going to do that if I'm constantly stressed out about classes. So, I'm getting a full time job that provides health care, a necessity, and moving home so I can save up money and hopefully get a place by myself.

So.....cheers everyone! And have a merry and beautiful Christmas.