I have to stop.
Just take a moment to breathe, collect myself.
Possibly remind myself that I am an adult.
Why I feel a compulsion to rely on someone else for happiness' sake...
Its something I've struggled with for a while now.
People who say they live in the moment have always astonished me.
How can you not wonder about tomorrow or the next week, or the year to come?
Wondering and guessing doesn't get you anywhere.
I get that.
But for some reason the idea of sitting by and waiting for something to happen,
It's mindboggling.
Trying to make things happen may be even more maddening.
And so patience is something I have to try out.
Its not something I've ever been good at.
Trying as hard as I have in the past is not something I can keep doing.
Asking myself why I'm not good enough, or just not enough.
Well, they're questions that I'm never going to answer on my own.
1 comment:
I tend to find the best way is to worry about the things you can control. Pay attention to the rest but don't worry about that stuff as you can't change it anyway.
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