There's this place I go inside my head where I'm not socially awkward and overly sarcastic. Where I'm just the right amount of witty and can light up a room just by walking through the door.
I've never really understand how people do that. How do you become the center of attention just by sitting down? How is that not something you strive for?
Of course, in the place inside my head I'm also brilliant and fly through classes like they're a vacation. School has always been work to me, not that its hard but it's just one of those things thats necessary to survive. I wish I could be excited about my College Mathematics class....but instead it feel like I'm having to go sit in a penitentiary for an hour.
Why can't I just sit at home and listen to music while doodling on a piece of paper?
I also have a group of friends that other people envy, in this place I go to. We all love each other, we're all fantastically funny and unique. I'm grateful for the friends I do have. Maybe I'm just a solitary person by nature, which really I'm perfectly fine with most of the time. I spend too much time inside my own head to divide my attention between a lot of people.
Maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm selfless. How do you figure something like that out? Does anyone actually go through a period of self discovery like they do on Judd Apatow movies? Is there ever a moment where you say "oh, thats what I'm destined to do." It's disappointing, but I don't think so.
Maybe it's best to just do what you can with what you have and be happy with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment