One Last Time

Ah Goddamn it! There I was, I had my chance to say anything to him, and I just kept saying the same blasted thing over and over again!! God I suck.

Well here it is, here are the things I didn't say. You ready, of course you are. You already think I'm crazy. And if your still reading this, then you get what you deserve.

So go ahead and drop off the face of the earth, I probably will too. But I'll drag you out of whatever hole your hiding in. Go ahead and date some vacant little girl who can be arm candy and blend in at all the events, sorry I just couldn't make myself do that. Go ahead and take me off your top friends list and take down all of our pictures if it makes you feel better. Yes it will hurt me, but I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself.

You know what I miss the most? I miss my best friend, the person I could talk to about anything or sit in complete silence with. The person who would crack up with me at just a look, the person who has the same taste in music and movies and books. But that person is gone right now, he's not the person who sat in front of me today. But I know you can be again. Your a good guy, your a guy who brings his mother flowers, your a guy who loves thunderstorms, your a guy who feels bad if he has to ask his friends for a favor, your a guy who cross-stitches for God sake! Your a great friend, and a good man.

So fine, take whatever time you need, I'll admit I still need some time too. But you can't just make me disappear. You made a mistake when you let me in, I'm not going anywhere so just suck it up. And stop acting as if I'm going to throw myself at you and beg you to take me back if you talk to me, I have some pride for Christ' sake!

All I'm asking is that you stop being so cruel, there's really no reason for it. And for the record, you should know me well enough to know that I'm not going to go out and fuck every guy I meet now, its just insulting.

So when you decide to stop being a jackass, give me a call, we'll go have coffee or something. I'm always here, I actually mean it when I say it. You have your stuff back now, your shoes you just had to have back for work today.

By the way, I'm about to move into my apartment, you should stop by.

Meg